Friday, May 2, 2014

Back At It (...again)

By now I am done apologizing to my vacant blog for not writing more frequently or giving my excuses for why I haven't. Because, life, right?

Anyway it looks like I am back at it again.
Back at what?
Oh, you know. Back at writing and fitness.
Yeah we've heard that one before...famous last words.
I know, I know. But I'm really going to try this time!

Today I woke up and realized it was time to take my life back into my own hands. Wow I can't count how many times I have said those exact words. Seriously. Verbatim! This time they somehow feel powerful, though. We'll see anyway. As someone who is going to receive their bachelor of health in just a few short months, you would think I would lead a healthier lifestyle. WRONG. The extent of my "healthy" life is not drinking soda and cutting out meat completely. Woo freaking hoo. A lot of good that does me if I am sitting on my ass eating cookie dough all day, right? 

Really what's lit a fire under me is cancer.
The word we all loathe.
Cancer.
Let's just get that bad taste out of our mouths.

Cancer has rocked my world way too hard the past 7 or so months. As many of you know, my grandma was diagnosed with stage 1 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma October of 2013. It was a wild ride and a fierce battle but she kicked ass and is now in remission as of a few weeks ago.  The hardships of that were enough to last us awhile, but the universe just wasn't done with us. My uncle passed away of stage 4 lung cancer December 22nd. We had no idea until it was far too late. And hey if that wasn't enough for us, my great grandma passed away one month ago yesterday (non cancer related). And now we are facing another bout of cancer with my great grandpa, who is terminally ill with liver cancer and is bed ridden living his days out here at home with us. You know. This has been a lot to deal with. Most days I am just numb. But some days it completely and totally knocks the wind out of me and it takes awhile for me to pick myself up and shake it off. I'm done with cancer and all of its bullshit. That's why I want to take my life back. That's why it's time to get rid of sugar and processed foods and a moderately active lifestyle and kick it into full gear with whole and organic foods and a vigorously active lifestyle. 

I didn't even mean to write everything you may or may not have just read. But it's there and it feels good.

There are two parts to what I meant to write originally so here they are.

Part 1: Running
I decided last night/this morning that I wanted to try the Couch to 5k again. I gave it ago a couple years back and I quit like a coward. Running is tough for me. Really tough. I hate it with a passion. But guess what? I made it through day 1 and it wasn't as bad as I expected. Go me. Well there was those first couple laps where I realized hey I shouldn't eat before I run! Oops. 

It was hard alone. It would have been great to have someone beside me yelling at me so I could stay motivated. But I got through it with me, myself & I. I told myself there's no way it'll always be this crappy and that I'll make it to the end of this and be able to run longer than 60 seconds without wanting to fall out. I will get there. Keep me accountable, guys. ;)

Part 2: Yoga
I really have to stop being lazy and do my yoga every day because there are no words to express how much I have MISSED being on my mat. Nothing feels better. It wasn't the most wonderful session. I have to do yoga in the living room for now because my room is too small. So between my papa trying to shake my hand while I was in standing bow pose or the sizzles of bacon filling my ears in child's pose, it was hard to really get into it. But there were a couple moments where I felt it...that feeling of complete joy that I have only ever found in yoga. Don't let me quit guys.


I guess that's all for now. I really need to take a shower because all I can smell is myself and ewwwww. Keep an eye out. If I'm not getting with the fit, then yell at me. Call me a quitter. Do it. 

xoxo
Nat


PS - I sucked so hard at 101 in 1001. So I'm making a new one. Don't know what the hell I am talking about? Ask me. You'll be glad you did. If you don't want to ask, just click the nice little link on the top of the page under the butterflies.