I Want To Write A Book

For the past few years I have said a thousand times that I want to write a book. A book about me. A book about the life I lived as a child and how it made me into who I am today. I want to write a book to inspire teenage girls everywhere. And I want this book to be huge. Not for me, for them. I have so many stories I wouldn't even know where to begin. But I have to begin somewhere, and I feel like I am being called to do this. I want to have it complete and published by the end of my college days. I think I can accomplish it. I know it won't be an easy task but I'll welcome it with open arms no matter how tough the challenge may be. Writing is all I ever think about.

So after my finals, and when I am home, I am going to sit down and I am going to write. Just write. Stories. Events. Memories. Moments. Whatever impacted me and made me this person. I feel I have a lot to say. A lot that needs to be heard.

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.


The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).
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Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.

Start: 10-10-11
End: 07-17-2014
Completed: 28

1. Make the dean's list again.
2. No soda for a month.
3. Get my first tattoo.
4. Find my first four leaf clover.
5. Vote in an election.
6. Travel outside of the country.
7. Get my license.
8. Get a car.
9. Visit my family in Utah.
10. Visit my grandma in Idaho.
11. Gain 10 pounds. (115 lbs)
12. Be able to run a mile in under 10 minutes.
13. Be able to run 2 miles without stopping.
14. Participate in a 5k.
15. Donate my hair to Locks of Love.
16. Get a summer job.
17. Make straight A's
18. Do 10 paid photo shoots. (3/10)
19. Visit a state that I’ve never been to.
20. Make a new friend.
21. Save $100.
22. Save $500.
23. Save $1000.
24. Go on a road trip.
25. Get a piece of my writing published.
26. Learn how to cook 50 new dishes. (7/50)
27. Go horseback riding.
28. Learn how to fold a paper crane.
29. Fold 1000 paper cranes. (0/1000)
30. Hide paper cranes in random places for people to find.
31. Be complaint free for 30 days.
32. Go on a camping trip.
33. Visit Dollywood.
34. Stay in a cabin in Gatlinburg.
35. Buy a macro lens.
36. Go to San Francisco for the first time.
37. Go to Disney World for the first time.
38. Make a scrapbook of college photos.
39. Knit 10 scarves. (0/10)
40. Read 50 books. (2/50)
41. Be a part of Habitat for Humanity.
42. Visit a spa.
43. Write a letter to myself to be opened after I get engaged.
44. Write a letter to myself to be opened after I am married.
45. Write a letter to myself to be opened when I become pregnant.
46. Write a letter to my best friend to be opened when she gets engaged.
47. Write a letter to my best friend to be opened when she becomes pregnant.
48. Have a bonfire complete with smores.
49. Go on a picnic and fly a kite.
50. Knit a blanket.
51. Go to Las Vegas.
52. Go to a casino.
53. Complete 10 fuzzy posters. (1/10)
54. Go on a mini shopping spree.
55. Drink 4 bottles of water a day for a month.
56. Throw someone a surprise party.
57. Learn how to ride a bike.
58. Learn how to drive a stick shift.
59. Compliment 5 people a day for a week.
60. Take a yoga class.
61. Take a self-defense class with my best friend.
62. Do zumba 10 times. (10/10)
63. Stay off of Facebook for one week.
64. Have an ugly sweater Christmas party.
65. Stop cussing for an entire week.
66. Have 3 pen-pals from different spots in the world. (0/3)
67. Have a Disney movie marathon.
68. Have 50 followers on my blog.
69. Learn to meditate.
70. Start my own little photography business.
71. Score at least a 200 in bowling.
72. Go shoot at a shooting range.
73. Learn to say hello in 50 languages. (0/50)
74. Learn to say I love you in 50 languages. (0/50)
75. Learn to play 5 songs on the piano. (0/5)
76. Go do karaoke with friends.
77. Send a message in a bottle.
78. Start a dream or prayer journal.
79. Lay under the stars with someone and talk deeply about life.
80. Go to the zoo ten times. (8/10)
81. Bake chocolate chip cookies from scratch five times. (1/5)
82. Visit Rock City again.
83. Wake up early enough to watch the sunrise.
84. Watch the sunset with someone I care about.
85. Visit a museum.
86. Dance like a kid in the rain five times. (0/5)
87. Go to Alcatraz.
88. Have a small pet, such as a fish.
89. Have a meaningful conversation with someone I barely know.
90. Go to a wedding.
91. Go to a midnight showing of a movie.
92. Make twenty people genuinely smile. (5/20)
93. Stay up on New Year’s Eve and get kissed at midnight.
94. Spend an entire day outdoors being active.
95. Pull an all-nighter with a friend.
96. Finish an entire coloring book.
97. Have a girl’s night out.
98. Enjoy a night of nothing but ice cream and movies with someone I care about.
99. Go to a drive in movie for the first time.
100. Write a love letter.
101. Do the Love Dare.

Road Blocks

Do you ever just have so much you want to write about, but everything seems to get in your way? That has been me for the past few days. No, it's not writer's block - I definitely know what I want to write about. We'll call them...road blocks. There's always something popping up in my days that makes it impossible to get to my blog. It seems for all the good I had those two days with the concert and the Country Music Hall of Fame, there was just as much bad in the following days.

The day after the concert, I woke up feeling extremely sore. The front of my legs and feet hurt to move and were on fire. I guess I learned my lesson about wearing four inch heeled boots to a concert! I felt really horrible that day. Light headed, dizzy, just rough. I took some ibuprofen and it did no good. The whole day I just felt like I was in this funk. I didn't want to be around people. Later on I realized I was having an anxiety attack. So I took some medicine, and it made me crazyyyy tired. The next morning I woke up with a swollen tongue, oh yay. I tried to see if it would go away on its own, but it just kept getting worse over a couple days and my lymph node became swollen as well. So I went to TUCA, and they turned me away telling me I needed to go to the ER instead. So that's what I did, even though I was extremely upset. TUCA would have been $35 with my insurance. The ER is $100. They told me I just have to let it run its course. It's basically a big canker sore gone wrong. I get canker sores a lot but never like this. I can barely talk, can't really eat or drink...it's horrible let me tell ya. So I get to wait it out. And guess how long it can last? Up to 14 days. FREAKING SWEEEEEET.

And then yesterday morning, up comes running this beagle puppy. Cutest thing I have ever seen. So we decide to keep her at our house and try to find the owner. After a day of searching throughout our neighborhood with no luck we came to the conclusion that she was probably abandoned. I've been trying to find her a new home. She spent the night in my room last night, because of course I've been the one to be taking care of her, and she was just so sweet. But now I feel horrible, because my dogs don't like her being in the house so we have to keep her outside and it is just so hot out there. I can't stand it. I try to bring her in but she's so wild. She just wants to play with them and she wants to be loved. I am trying my little butt off to get this pup into a good home. She's in the backyard just howling and crying away. It makes my heart ache so much.

So the past four days have been filled with either anxiety, pain, or a hard to control puppy. I am stressed like crazy and I am ready for this all to be over. I move into school on Friday, and I have no money for books still. I don't have a clue as to what the hell I am going to do but I am trying to keep the faith. Wish me luck.

Maroon 5, Train, and an unforgettable couple of days.

Wednesday night, a night I had been waiting on for MONTHS to approach, finally came! It also disappeared far too quickly. For those of you who don't already know, my dad and I went to see Maroon 5 and Train that night. I promised some people a detailed blog of what went on, and I keep my promises...so here goes! Sorry if it becomes incredibly long.

We left the house around 3:20 or so, and headed to our hotel in downtown Nashville. Daddy got us a suite at the Hilton for the night. We checked in, and walked over to the Bridgestone to get our tickets. We asked the lady about the meet and greet with Maroon 5, and she told us that we needed to be out front at 5:15. (The concert started at 7:00). We had plans to eat and then head to the concert, so at this point we had absolutely no time at all to grab dinner. We were both starving. So we rush back to the Hilton so daddy can finish getting ready, then rush back over to Bridgestone. And we wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. It's a good bit past 5:15, and we are seeing people with meet and greet passes around their necks, something that we don't have, because the lady at the front earlier told me we didn't get any. I go back up to the window to a different lady. She then proceeds to tell me that the Maroon 5 meet and greet was already taking place, and that our names were not on the list. At this point we are both almost in tears we are so angry. But turns out that lady didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and neither did the rest of the people who work there. So I go up to these 3 people just standing around, and asked them if they were there for the same meet and greet, thankfully they said they were. That eased the tension in our stomachs a little bit. However, we still had NO idea what was going on! We didn't know where we were supposed to be, what time the meet and greet was, and about a million other things. Sometime after 6, my dad spotted a guy with a bunch of Maroon 5 meet and greet passes around his neck. So I went up to him and asked him about it, and THANK GOODNESS, he was the guy for our meet and greet! But, our names weren't on the list. My daddy showed him our tickets and his receipts and everything, and the guy gave us our passes and told us this happens all the time and that he was personally going to yell at the people in charge of making those lists. Finally around 6:15 we headed to meet Maroon 5! We waited in line for about 15 minutes, and finally we had our chance. When we were standing there waiting for our turn to take a photo with the band, I was definitely checking out Adam! I mean come on, what girl doesn't think Adam Levine is SMOKING hot?! And here comes the part that makes me want to faint...Adam Levine made eye contact with me. WITH ME! And he did it more than once. I thought I was imagining things, but a couple other people pointed out that he was definitely checking me out. HOW CRAZY IS THAT?! We got up to the band, and they all signed our meet and greet pass. I said hello to all of them, shook all their hands, and actually wasn't nearly as nervous as I thought I was going to be. Let me just say, Adam is really gorgeous in person. And way taller than I thought he was. He's easily over 6 feet. I stood right there beside him, arm around him and all, and we had our picture taken with Maroon 5! We won't get to see the photo for about a week, and I am super impatient. I can't wait to see it! That moment passed far too quickly. We got an autographed photo, and we were on our way to enjoy the concert!

So did I mention how incredible our seats were? We were in the 3rd row, in seats 7 and 8. A couple people didn't show up, and some ended up leaving, so we scooted down and became more center stage. Maroon 5 put on an awesome show! Adam definitely has amazing stage performance. I danced like crazy and my throat hurt so bad from singing so loud! When Maroon 5 was all finished up, Matt Flynn (the drummer) threw his drumstick into the crowd....RIGHT AT US. It hit my hand, and before I knew it, the drumstick was gone. I was looking everywhere for it, and my dad had caught it! We were both shaking like crazy, it was just about the coolest thing ever. My dad caught a Maroon 5 drumstick! At this point I didn't think that there was much that could make this concert any better! After awhile, Train came out. And holy cow...Pat can SING! It was unbelievable. And then something absolutely insane happened. Pat said he needed some ladies to come up on stage and help him sing and dance. Girls were screaming like crazy, trying to get picked. He pointed to two girls in front of me. Then he said, "Oh and anyone else who thinks I might have pointed to them." I looked at daddy, he said "Go!", and I ran up there like there was no tomorrow. I elbowed girls out of my way, and I forced myself through the crowd of females, and I was the LAST one they let up on that stage! Here I was standing on stage with the band Train. How absolutely insane is that?! I danced and sang with TRAIN! I didn't even notice the thousands of people in the crowd. It was just me, the band, and the other girls on stage having a freaking blast. That moment was over all too fast as well. The rest of the concert was simply OUTSTANDING. I am so sad it's over. It's definitely a night I am never going to forget!

Yesterday we had breakfast at the Hilton, and we went to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. We got the most expensive package, which included a tour of RCA Studio B. If you don't know what that is, it's the studio where tons of artists have recorded their music. Over half of Elvis's songs he recorded there. Tons of other artists did as well. But what stuck out to both me and my dad was Elvis. We walked into that room, and a feeling came over me that I will never be able to explain, not even with a million words. In the corner sat Elvis's favorite piano. The piano he had played more than any other. I promise you, you could feel Elvis in that room. You could feel his spirit. He was there. I learned so much that touched my soul. We had the opportunity to sit at that piano, and to play it. I couldn't barely breathe. My dad and I were both in tears. It's something that you just can't explain. It's something that you have to experience for yourself.

So as you can see, I had a wonderful past couple of days. I am so lucky and blessed to have the father I do. He enabled all of this, and I am so grateful. I can't believe I met Maroon 5. I can't believe I danced on stage with Train. Me. It's hard to wrap my head around. It's something I am never going to forget. I don't think there's much in this world that could top the experience I had.

Photos and videos can be found on Facebook!

-Nastassia*

Life, Death, and Progeria

I have been putting off writing this for a few days now, because to be honest I just don't know how. Maybe it's for fear of finally admitting all of it to myself, and making it more than thoughts in my head. Maybe it's because I think I'll shake it all off. But I am drowning in emotions and there has to be an outlet. Writing has to be my outlet.

About a month ago, Ryan and I took a trip to Florida to see his family. On the drive back, just when we were about to be home, the thought of death struck me and scared me to my core. I have no idea why, but I haven't been able to shake it since. What scared me so much was the thought of what occurs AFTER. Is there really a Heaven, a God? Am I living my life good enough to please any higher being? Am I just going to die one day, and never wake up? Am I going to cease to exist and my memory fade over years gone by? I don't know the answer to any single one of these questions, yet I cannot stop asking myself these questions every single day since that night. When I have time to myself during the day, I think about life and how it's too short. I think about how quickly a day passes. Then I think about death, decaying, and withering away. Death is taunting me. Life is taunting me. Which is it? I am so confused with all of this I could just scream. At least that was how it was up until a couple of nights ago. And then it's as if someone, somewhere, helped answer all of my questions in a way I had to piece together myself.

A couple of nights ago, my family, Ryan, and I were all sitting around the TV. A special about children with Progeria came on. It captured my attention from the get-go. I'd always been very intrigued and curious with the disease. For those that have no background knowledge, progeria is a disease that causes the body to age and deteriorate at a rapid speed. A 5 year old's body would be in the condition of an 80 year old. Yet their mindset would still be that of a 5 year old. The lifespan is not lengthy. It is a horrible and sad disease. This is the case for a small percent of children in the world, and 3 little girls who deeply touched my heart. On that screen, I saw three girls (two of them 6 years old, one of them 12) who had the biggest love for life that I have ever seen. Every day they are faced with challenges that you nor I could possibly conceive. These challenges are much larger than mine, much greater than yours. They stare death in the face every second that their heart is beating. Do you think they worry? Not one single bit. They don't waste a second - they spend their time loving large and smiling. I don't think I heard a single complaint leave any of their lips. They understand what a precious gift life is, and they utilize every tool for happiness they can manage. They look different from you and I, they develop differently. And do you know the biggest difference between these beautiful children with progeria, and you and I? I'll let you draw your own conclusion and answer that yourselves. For me, they opened my eyes and my heart. They spoke to me on such a deep level, and they answered all the questions I had.

I don't know what happens after we die. I don't know if there is a God, I don't know if there is Heaven. I want to believe there is something, but I can't know for sure. Nobody can know for sure until that time comes. I don't know if what I am going through is a curse or a blessing. I guess in actuality it could be seen as both. It is a curse. I think about death every single day. I think about ceasing to exist and everything that I love eventually disappearing off of this earth, perhaps forever. I think about there being no life whatsoever after this life on earth ends. And yes it is terrifying to me. I worry because the days I have are too short and every moment I live goes by far too fast. I get sick to my stomach at the thought of losing my life and the lives of those dear to me. However in contrast, it is a blessing. I am aware of how short this life on earth is. I am aware that a moment will pass you by so quickly you may not even realize it. I understand how precious one life is. I appreciate every second I am given, and I try not to waste any of my time. Life is a GIFT. It should not be wasted, it should be appreciated. Please, if you take anything from this blog, understand that you are so beautiful, so important, and your life is special. Try not to let those little moments pass you by. Put that gorgeous smile on your face and enjoy this life while you have it. You never know when it can disappear from beneath you.

I would love to hear from each of you that read this, somehow. I want to know your favorite things about the life you live: the big things, but the small things especially. What is it that gives you hope, gives you joy, gives you love and a sense of fulfillment? For me it's looking into the eyes of the man I love - and REALLY looking. For me it's a room filled with my family's laughter creating the most lovely sound I have ever heard. For me it's the sound the wind makes when it rustles the leaves of the crispy brown leaves in fall. It's a warm smile from a stranger. It's the crunchy sound the snow makes when you walk on it. It's the smell of Thanksgiving dinner coming from my grandma's kitchen, and the way we all come together as a big family and put aside all differences, and why can't this be every day? Why can't every day be full of joy and love? There will be hardships. There will be times when you feel like you have hit the bottom. But you are alive, and there is always joy to be had. Look a little bit deeper into this life you are living. Look a little bit deeper into those little things that make you smile. I could list things that make me smile all day. It's important that we don't ever FORGET any of these things. Cherish each other and the time you have.

If you took the time to read this, I want to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that at least some of it will sink in and stick with you.

-Nastassia*