I Thought...

At 17 years old, I got my acceptance letter into Austin Peay State University. I went through a hundred different emotions and my brain immediately started developing expectations for college. For those of you who know me well, you know I am a planner. I have to plan everything. What I will eat for breakfast tomorrow morning; what outfit I will wear tomorrow and on that day six months from now; my monthly workout routine; what I'm getting everyone for Christmas next year; what papers go where in which binder; the list seriously goes on without an end. So it was easy for me to organize a new folder and store it away in my brain to be opened when I attended school in August of 2010. 

I was only 17 and I believed I had it all figured out. I was in a relationship with someone who I swore was "the one." I'd even already started picking out wedding colors without even having a ring on my finger. I had my major decided before my first day of classes: elementary education. I was going to join a sorority and make tons of friends who would be there the rest of my life. I knew that my four years of undergraduate college were going to be the best four years of my life. And guess how much of that I was right about?

None of it. 

I thought that I had it all figured out, but in fact my life was about to change in every single way. I quickly changed my major to radiologic technology. Then nursing. Then health care management. Then health. That boy I was so sure of marrying broke up with me over a text message my sophomore year after two years together. I definitely never joined a sorority and I definitely haven't made a hundred lifelong friends. Have these four years been the best of my life? Absolutely not. But do I regret where my journey has taken me so far? No way!

I thought and thought and thought so many things, and every time I thought I had it figured out, reality smacked me in the face with a new lesson. So what has really happened to my life and what have I really learned?

1.) Heartbreak is inevitable. Especially when you and the person you are with don't want the same things out of life and you are headed down different paths. It hurts and it sucks, but you owe it to yourself to be with someone who cherishes you and your life together.

2.) You probably don't really know what you want to do when your fresh into college. Explore a little before you decide on something to spend the rest of your life doing. You will probably surprise yourself.

3.) You don't need to make a thousand friends in college. Trust me when I say it's so much better to have those few who stick by your side rather than a hundred who don't really care about you. No offense.

4.) It's okay if you don't make straight A's. College isn't easy. Be proud of the fact that you made it this far and keep trucking along. One C or even an F isn't going to kill you and you WILL make it to the end. 

5.) These 4 years won't be your best. They will be hard, stressful, and cause you a few too many headaches. There are many more years to come and they will be so much better. 

You can take or leave these things. Really, they are more for me than anyone. I had my heart broken and thought I would never recover. But guess what? I did and I am stronger and wiser. I never expected to be a health major, but I am so happy with where I am at now. I have made VERY few friends, but the ones I do have rock my socks off. 

I am about to start up my last semester and it's the first I have been this excited about. I never really thought I would make it, but I am making it. I am ready to start a new chapter in my life! Just a little encouragement to those who want to quit: don't. It's always darkest before the dawn.