Stress-A-Palooza

Have you ever felt so stressed that you can't do anything but sit and stare blankly into space because you don't know which way to turn or where to begin to sort through your pile of MESS?! I'm talking about that stress that hits so deep that you get stomach cramps (okay, that could also be menstrual cramps). The stress that causes your body to ache and your head to trick your body into thinking that you're trapped inside a bubble, separate from the rest of the world, and the secret to how to pop this bubble lies at the bottom of your pile of stress....and that's just the thing...you feel you are NEVER going to get to the bottom, so when does the cycle end?! Are you following me?

This is my 5th semester at Austin Peay. And it is the most stressful, difficult, cloudy semester that I have had thus far. I don't even know how I am going to make it through today, let alone try worrying about tomorrow! I don't know how to deal with all of this! I am only taking 5 classes and I feel like I am taking 10. It's killing me. I feel like I am never going to get through this, I am never going to get to nursing school. I have been sitting in the library for over three hours now, trying like hell to find my focus and get something done. But I don't know where to start. I crack open a book and the lines blur together and I can't make out one single word. I try to listen to an online lecture and I feel like I am listening to the parents on Charlie Brown. I try to analyze a poem or remember classifications of bacterium and my eyes go black. And none of this is an exaggeration. This is happening to me! And I don't know what to make of it or what to do with it. I don't even know how I am typing this right now.

If you're curious on what my class load is like, here, let me break it down for you:
Microbiology Lecture
Microbiology Lab
Developmental Psychology
Statistics
Writing Poetry

....doesn't sound so bad, right? Well, let's dig just a little bit deeper.

Micro: I have a huge test next Wednesday, over so much material that I don't even know where to store it in my brain. And for the lab that goes along with this class, we are currently doing our "unknowns." This is where each student receives a vial with two different bacteria inside. Your goal is to run a series of MANY different types of tests, and determine which bacteria it is of about 10 or so, possibly more, that we have gone over in the past few weeks. This will take the rest of this week and all of next week. It's due next Thursday. Also, next Thursday is my lab practical for the class. PLEASE explain to me how I am supposed to research all this bacteria to make sure I am properly doing my unknown, AND study for two huge tests. Then the following week I have a research paper and powerpoint presentation...so the small fall break that I DO get, I will be working on that. THIS IS ALL THE SAME CLASS....my goodness.

Psych: This class is a struggle for me. The teacher does not teach, she shares stories. No matter how in depth I get into the text or how much I study her study guides, I CANNOT get an A on her tests. So I guess that means it's time to hit this material double time.

Stats: Three chapters of online homework due right after fall break. I have time, I just don't know where that time is...

Poetry: I love to write. But my work for this class sucks. Because I don't have time to write how I want to write...but I'm making a B so I guess it's okay.

But if that doesn't stress you out just reading it then please tell me your secret because I am about to break. I need a vacation...but I won't even get one until Christmas break. THAT even stresses me out. I just want this season to pass. I want to be able to relax and breath a sigh of relief and SMILE. I miss smiling. I miss laughing. I miss feeling light and free of stress.

I have so much left to say....but I can't even write anymore.

Please pray for me.