Why fitness and health are so important to me

I was reading back on all of my old posts and thought "My god, I was so sad...and so naive." So I decided it was time to leave all those memories in the past where they belong and I deleted a ton of old blog posts. It wasn't easy at first to cut off all that weight, some of those posts had happy parts in them. But I think it's all best forgotten and time to focus on what's in front of me.

A lot has happened since my last blog entry in May. At the time that I wrote it, I was really inspired to make the necessary changes in my life. But three days after I posted that, my great grandpa passed away and it wrecked me and my whole world. The loss of my grandpa tore through me like a knife. I forgot all of the goals I had set for myself and fell into such a sadness I didn't think I would come out.

But I have emerged because I know my grandpa wouldn't want me to get lost in my sadness. I'm now engaged and planning my wedding with the most incredible man I have ever known. It was hard for me to be excited when Tyler proposed just two weeks after my grandpa's passing. All I wanted was to tell my grandpa his first great grandchild was getting married. I couldn't wait to see his face when he first saw me in my wedding dress. I just wanted him to be there. Knowing he won't be makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry uncontrollably...but I won't because that's not what he would have wanted. He would have wanted my happiness. He would have wanted me to push through all of life's difficulties and emerge on top. Well I am trying just for you, grandpa. Since his passing, I have really kicked my health into high gear like I have so long talked about. I am doing my best to eat right and exercise every single day. My grandpa's death really got me thinking about my health, as did my uncle's passing and my grandma's battle with cancer.

So now I'll get down to what the title of this blog is really all about.

It has hit me pretty hard that we won't always have our health, and we damn well better use our bodies while we can. One day you won't be able to do the same things your body can do now so don't take it for granted. I get so sick and tired of hearing people say "life is too short to watch what I eat" or "exercise isn't for me." Your life is going to be a hell of a lot shorter if you don't start making healthier choices. Most of my family members possess really bad lifestyle habits that I have watched take place most of my life. Many of those habits have had incredibly negative effects on their health and have caused some of them to lose their lives prematurely. I don't want to get into vivid examples or call any of my family members out on this blog because I don't want to upset anyone. But I will say that had they made healthier decisions, such as not smoking, drinking, or just being more active...some of them may still be alive, and some of them would have a better life right now.

Basically what I am saying is your body is going to deteriorate on its own and there WILL come a time when you won't be able to do the things you can do now. You won't be able to run. Maybe you won't be able to breathe or hear as easily. DON'T speed up the process by smoking, drinking, eating foods that are terrible for you and sitting on your ass. Put down the sugary foods and drinks and get the hell up off your couch and GET MOVING. Go for a walk. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and drink water. You'll probably add years onto your life and chances are you won't have as many difficulties when you're up there in age if you just take care of yourself. We only get one shot at life, don't waste it.

With all that being said, I am so happy for change. I used to run from it and now I embrace it. It's time to keep the promises I have made to myself.

Back At It (...again)

By now I am done apologizing to my vacant blog for not writing more frequently or giving my excuses for why I haven't. Because, life, right?

Anyway it looks like I am back at it again.

Back at what?

Oh, you know. Back at writing and fitness.

Yeah we've heard that one before...famous last words.

I know, I know. But I'm really going to try this time!

Today I woke up and realized it was time to take my life back into my own hands. Wow I can't count how many times I have said those exact words. Seriously. Verbatim! This time they somehow feel powerful, though. We'll see anyway. As someone who is going to receive their bachelor of health in just a few short months, you would think I would lead a healthier lifestyle. WRONG. The extent of my "healthy" life is not drinking soda and cutting out meat completely. Woo freaking hoo. A lot of good that does me if I am sitting on my ass eating cookie dough all day, right? 

Really what's lit a fire under me is cancer.

The word we all loathe.

Cancer.

Let's just get that bad taste out of our mouths.

Cancer has rocked my world way too hard the past 7 or so months. As many of you know, my grandma was diagnosed with stage 1 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma October of 2013. It was a wild ride and a fierce battle but she kicked ass and is now in remission as of a few weeks ago.  The hardships of that were enough to last us awhile, but the universe just wasn't done with us. My uncle passed away of stage 4 lung cancer December 22nd. We had no idea until it was far too late. And hey if that wasn't enough for us, my great grandma passed away one month ago yesterday (non cancer related). And now we are facing another bout of cancer with my great grandpa, who is terminally ill with liver cancer and is bed ridden living his days out here at home with us. You know. This has been a lot to deal with. Most days I am just numb. But some days it completely and totally knocks the wind out of me and it takes awhile for me to pick myself up and shake it off. I'm done with cancer and all of its bullshit. That's why I want to take my life back. That's why it's time to get rid of sugar and processed foods and a moderately active lifestyle and kick it into full gear with whole and organic foods and a vigorously active lifestyle. 

I didn't even mean to write everything you may or may not have just read. But it's there and it feels good.

There are two parts to what I meant to write originally so here they are.

Part 1: Running

I decided last night/this morning that I wanted to try the Couch to 5k again. I gave it ago a couple years back and I quit like a coward. Running is tough for me. Really tough. I hate it with a passion. But guess what? I made it through day 1 and it wasn't as bad as I expected. Go me. Well there was those first couple laps where I realized hey I shouldn't eat before I run! Oops. 

It was hard alone. It would have been great to have someone beside me yelling at me so I could stay motivated. But I got through it with me, myself & I. I told myself there's no way it'll always be this crappy and that I'll make it to the end of this and be able to run longer than 60 seconds without wanting to fall out. I will get there. Keep me accountable, guys. ;)

Part 2: Yoga

I really have to stop being lazy and do my yoga every day because there are no words to express how much I have MISSED being on my mat. Nothing feels better. It wasn't the most wonderful session. I have to do yoga in the living room for now because my room is too small. So between my papa trying to shake my hand while I was in standing bow pose or the sizzles of bacon filling my ears in child's pose, it was hard to really get into it. But there were a couple moments where I felt it...that feeling of complete joy that I have only ever found in yoga. Don't let me quit guys.

I guess that's all for now. I really need to take a shower because all I can smell is myself and ewwwww. Keep an eye out. If I'm not getting with the fit, then yell at me. Call me a quitter. Do it. 

xoxo

Nat

PS - I sucked so hard at 101 in 1001. So I'm making a new one. Don't know what the hell I am talking about? Ask me. You'll be glad you did. If you don't want to ask, just click the nice little link on the top of the page under the butterflies. 

I Thought...

At 17 years old, I got my acceptance letter into Austin Peay State University. I went through a hundred different emotions and my brain immediately started developing expectations for college. For those of you who know me well, you know I am a planner. I have to plan everything. What I will eat for breakfast tomorrow morning; what outfit I will wear tomorrow and on that day six months from now; my monthly workout routine; what I'm getting everyone for Christmas next year; what papers go where in which binder; the list seriously goes on without an end. So it was easy for me to organize a new folder and store it away in my brain to be opened when I attended school in August of 2010. 

I was only 17 and I believed I had it all figured out. I was in a relationship with someone who I swore was "the one." I'd even already started picking out wedding colors without even having a ring on my finger. I had my major decided before my first day of classes: elementary education. I was going to join a sorority and make tons of friends who would be there the rest of my life. I knew that my four years of undergraduate college were going to be the best four years of my life. And guess how much of that I was right about?

None of it. 

I thought that I had it all figured out, but in fact my life was about to change in every single way. I quickly changed my major to radiologic technology. Then nursing. Then health care management. Then health. That boy I was so sure of marrying broke up with me over a text message my sophomore year after two years together. I definitely never joined a sorority and I definitely haven't made a hundred lifelong friends. Have these four years been the best of my life? Absolutely not. But do I regret where my journey has taken me so far? No way!

I thought and thought and thought so many things, and every time I thought I had it figured out, reality smacked me in the face with a new lesson. So what has really happened to my life and what have I really learned?

1.) Heartbreak is inevitable. Especially when you and the person you are with don't want the same things out of life and you are headed down different paths. It hurts and it sucks, but you owe it to yourself to be with someone who cherishes you and your life together.

2.) You probably don't really know what you want to do when your fresh into college. Explore a little before you decide on something to spend the rest of your life doing. You will probably surprise yourself.

3.) You don't need to make a thousand friends in college. Trust me when I say it's so much better to have those few who stick by your side rather than a hundred who don't really care about you. No offense.

4.) It's okay if you don't make straight A's. College isn't easy. Be proud of the fact that you made it this far and keep trucking along. One C or even an F isn't going to kill you and you WILL make it to the end. 

5.) These 4 years won't be your best. They will be hard, stressful, and cause you a few too many headaches. There are many more years to come and they will be so much better. 

You can take or leave these things. Really, they are more for me than anyone. I had my heart broken and thought I would never recover. But guess what? I did and I am stronger and wiser. I never expected to be a health major, but I am so happy with where I am at now. I have made VERY few friends, but the ones I do have rock my socks off. 

I am about to start up my last semester and it's the first I have been this excited about. I never really thought I would make it, but I am making it. I am ready to start a new chapter in my life! Just a little encouragement to those who want to quit: don't. It's always darkest before the dawn.